Hello Usual Suspects.
Having been a villain for long, it’s time for me to fight back. I’m going to expose all your dirty little secrets in my blog. If you have a strong heart, read on. Lol
The list is in no particular order.
1. George. We really should mock this guy. He has a nickname- Ambulensi. By virtue of his charisma, I endorse him to be the captain of this team. If you ever win an argument against him, count yourself lucky to be among the select few. He’s a good leader and a master of his game. Call him Obama.
2. Esimit. Also known as Von Scandalous. The last time he wan’t involved in a scandal, Kanu was the ruling party. I happen to share a little secret with him that is not known to the rest of the suspects. The code for the secret is ‘Maya.’
Scandalous and beer is like husband and wife. Like an eel, he is very slippery when members of the opposite sex are not present. It’s worth noting that he conceded defeat on behalf of CORD long before Raila went to court.
Lastly, he is our chief of Women Affairs.
3. Kiprop. This one will call as soon as he reads this and complain about me being an idiot. He is the most useless person in this list. We only use him as a bad example.
Kipp is the only person in this world to ever tap his Mama Mboga. His cleaning lady sent him a romantic New Year’s Sms. His life is like a typical mexican Soap Opera.
Lastly, he is the laziest person on earth.
4. Taiwa. What a fancy name to hide his real name- Undescore. He’s been dumped by the same girl more times than Raila has vied for presidency.
We share a food joint in Eldoret that is deemed unacceptable by other usual suspects. This is the guy you think is bright until you here him speak. Applause!
5. Edu. Everything about his life can be summed up in one word: STUPID! Who the hell buys his girlfriend a Mr. Berry for a gift?
I looted his jacket and word on the street is that he cried like Ruto.
6. Bundotich. He is our little bird. A termite that can destroy a storey building. I have never seen an individual tweet from him. All I see is retweets. Adios
7. Albert. Also known as Rwa. Legend has it that he once carried a whole sack of grass all by himself. He is very reliable but there’s a problem: We’ve never seen his girlfriend!
Busia is his Las Vegas!
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